Hungry Like the Wolf
by aiupenn
Summary: Osamu and Ranpo go to get some pastries after a mission together. Ranpo shows some unexpected kindness and Osamu comes up with a rather childish plan.


"Dazai... I want some of that."

Osamu comes to a sudden stop as Ranpo latches onto his jacket sleeve. The detective's eyes are closed, but Osamu doesn't have to see what he's looking at to know what he's talking about. They'd just passed a pastry shop and if he knew Ranpo (and he did) that would be what he was eyeing.

He had not intention of indulging Ranpo's habit. As much of a fondness he held for the man, his wallet didn't love his obsession with sugar. It was always difficult to say 'no', though, when he looked so innocent and sweet. He practically glowed as he studied the array of tarts, donuts, and cream puffs. Osamu felt his resolve for his wallet falter.

But that was only for a moment. The temptation of eating food other than instant ramen this month was too strong. He looks to Ranpo, who in turn looks to him expectantly. Osamu gives a thoughtful hum, as if he's really considering it. Ranpo's grasp on his sleeve tightens.

And then Osamu takes a decisive step in the other direction. Ranpo lets out a cry of distress, but he feels the other man stumble after him, still clinging to his sleeve. After a moment, he even lets go of that with a huff. Osamu wouldn't care to say out loud that he felt a stab of guilt.

Still, he's disappointed with himself that he's not willing to go and stop his friend(?) when he clearly starts sneaking back to the pastry shop. He really is going too soft...

He stops for a minute to feign interest in a street artist before turning to go after him. Osamu glances through the front window to see Ranpo chatting it up with the store clerk, a paper bag full of pastries overflowing in his arms. This man may be the end of me... he thinks, sadly not very regretfully. Starvation wouldn't be his chosen end, but perhaps ending his life in defense of Ranpo (or rather, his love of sweets) wouldn't be so bad. It would be nice if he cried if he died...

He shook his head, embarrassed by his own fanciful line of thinking. If he's this desperate for attention from the detective, he'll end up just as praise-hungry as Ranpo.

He walks in to disrupt the conversation between Ranpo and the clerk, much to the clerk's relief it seems. She looks terribly annoyed with the man, which is not all that surprising. Despite his rather astounding intelligence, social situations never went well with him. He always ended up bragging, going on for too long about the most recent case he'd solved.

Ranpo doesn't turn to acknowledge his partner(?) until he slides up next to him at the counter. "Ah! Dazai!" He beams briefly, but turns away immediately to scurry off to a table with an armful of his goodies.

Osamu tries to hold in a sigh as he looks to the clerk with the sweetest face he could muster. She was a beauty, certainly (in his opinion, most people were), but it was difficult finding the enthusiasm to flirt with her when he'd much rather flirt with the man sitting without him. All the same, he rummages through his wallet while looking up to the clerk through his eyelashes, "Ah... Pardon him, ma'am. I'll be paying the bill," he fishes out the yen and looks her in the eyes, "I hope he wasn't causing you any sort of trouble? I don't want to imagine a lady as pretty as you inconvenienced by someone such as him." The 'him' in question, wasn't giving Osamu so much a second glance from the table he'd sat at. It would be nice if he at least thanked him for paying. Although, he knew better than to expect as much from Ranpo at this point. Osamu wants to keep looking at him and study every feature to see if he has any sort of reaction from his next actions, but that's just the hopelessly in love (hmm... he didn't like that word.) hopelessly infatuated side of him.

He hands the woman the yen, but before her hand leaves the counter, he takes it lightly in his. "Ma'am, i have to admit that I've been waiting for this moment alone with you..." he looks up with a earnestness he doesn't really buy himself, "You see, I have an important question to ask you," he sucks in a breath, "Would you commit-"

"Dazai!" Ranpo's voice reaches his ears from the other end of the shop. It's got a whine to it that Osamu kind of likes, "I got us poison-filled jelly donuts!"

Osamu can't help but feel his heart leap for two reasons. 1) Ranpo had called to him right as things were going to get romantic. Not that he believed the detective really had feelings for him (Osamu was fairly certain he'd know if he did with how ridiculously often he studied the man). 2) Poison-filled jelly donuts were a delicious way to die.

His attention was very efficiently diverted and he abandoned his conversation immediately to glide into the seat across from Ranpo. "Edogawa! You'd commit double suicide with me? And for something so small as buying you pastries?" He made his eyes shine with excitement as he looked for the promised donuts.

"I lied," Ranpo said in monotone before taking a bite from a cream puff.

Osamu deflated immediately, laying his cheek on the table, "Your so cruel to me, Edogawa."

Ranpo ignored his comment completely. Something warm pushed against Osamu's hair. "Will coffee do?" Ranpo asked.

Osamu shot up from the table. Genuine surprise and delight crossed his face for just a moment (Smother that, he reminds himself). He'd never go so far as to say Ranpo didn't care for others-he'd seen him go out of his way to solve little mysteries too many times to believe that-but, Ranpo wasn't exactly... 'kind'. Osamu suspected it was very much a front, the same way his over-exaggerated nature was. Ranpo wasn't the type to be giving, although sometimes it was very clear he wanted to. He wanted to be smart and feel above others, and kindness wasn't how you got there. Osamu knew that well.

"Ah~~ For me~~?" he puts on the most delighted face he can manage, although it's not difficult. The joy is mostly genuine. He flicks his gaze up to Ranpo's closed eyes, "Do-Do I dare dream that you bought me a cup of detergent as well?"

"Of course not." Ranpo starts eating a lemon tart.

Now be disappointed, Osamu. "For a moment I thought you cared, Ranpo..." he slumped again against the table.

It was nice to think that Ranpo had consciously decided to pick up a drink for him. Ranpo probably didn't think much of it himself, though. Osamu's desperate heart is getting itself into trouble now with all this hopeful thoughts. Much longer, and he'd be head over heels in love. He tried to hide his sigh as he picked up the cup of coffee, the warmth spreading quickly through his fingers.

He hadn't realized he'd been smiling. "Ah~" Can you imagine how mad Kunikida will be that we took this detour and made him late..." He excuses away the pleasent expression with such a comment and looks over the top of his drink at Ranpo.

His coworker(?) had a strange expression on his face, a lot like the one he had when he was considering a very fascinating murder. His eyes were closed, but it was fairly clear that his full attention was on Osamu and his coffee. It made his heart flutter, although he'd be loath to admit it. What was Ranpo so fascinated by? Is he... worried I won't like it? he wonders.

It's unusually difficult for him to force down the heat rising to his cheeks. Osamu Dazai is most certainly not someone who gets flustered when his crush (hmm... it's a bit of a stronger emotion than that) gives him their full attention, even when their full attention is hard to get if you're not a slowly rotting corpse, and he especially doesn't get flustered when this is happening seconds after said crush was doing something uncharacteristically kind.

Ahh~ He's almost certainly lying to himself if his heartbeat is anything to go by. Osamu Dazai is definitely flustered. Who knew such an aloof, arrogant detective would be the one to make him feel that way?

Lucky for him, it seems like he might not be the only flustered one because Ranpo pointedly turns away to take a bite of his tart as soon as he notices Osamu's eyes on him. Osamu can't help but smile a little at this, although somewhere deep down he knows he's reading too much into it. In either case, he finally tips the cup back to take a sip.

And immediately has to stifle a choke.

After a brief moment of struggle, he forces it down. "Is-is that black?" he tries to sound inquisitive, but knows he's failing miserably. He feels his heart sinking by the moment.

He had tried to tell himself he was getting too hopeful. After all that daydreaming, Ranpo had only given it to him as a prank after all. It's his own fault in the end; he should have known better than to get so wishful.

Ranpo turns to look at him with a satisfied smirk, "I was right, wasn't I?" Osamu tries to hide his confusion, "That's the way you like it. A good detective will always know the way his partner likes his coffee!"

Osamu's entire face flushes and he knows that Ranpo can see. He wasn't able to smother it before it happened. Ranpo had been wrong, but he hadconsciously paid attention and bought the coffee black just for him. God, his heart just wouldn't stop pounding. This was ridiculous. When exactly had he fallen so in love like with this man?

He lets his eyes sparkle with real glee as he got another sip. "Edogawa~ You are a genius!"

Ranpo takes the compliment in his usual way: looking annoyingly smug.

By the time Ranpo reached into his bag to get a donut, Osamu was already devising a plan to make his partner (that was the right word. for now at least) just a flustered as he was. After all, Osamu might enjoy the attention, but he most certainly didn't enjoy the removal of his mask. It made everything unreasonably complicated.

Now, he'd never truly grown out of being childish (quite obviously), but even he had to admit that the plan he was hatching was childish. It reminded him vaguely of the indirect kisses middle schoolers got so embarrassed over. It made him question if he was throwing his pride out of the window just for some simple payback.

But, he was also nothing if not impulsive.

"Hey, Edogawa. I want some of that," Osamu said, pointing to Ranpo's donut.

Just as planned, the other man went on the defensive immediately. He tried to eat the rest of the donut as he shook his head. Osamu would have none of that this time around.

He stood and leaned over the table, his hand only narrowly escaping knocking over the cup of coffee. Ranpo looked slightly alarmed. Osamu smirked.

He placed his index finger lightly under Ranpo's chin to get him to face his direction. Then, he leaned in close, tilting his head ever so slightly so he won't run into his partner's nose. Ranpo doesn't immediately jerk away, which makes a small part of Osamu excited, but also doubtful. Perhaps this is just a truly terrible idea. Ah. No chance to think of that now, though.

Their lips brush lightly as Osamu takes a bite of the donut sticking out of Ranpo's mouth. He knew he was imagining it again, but he felt the other man suck in a breath of shock as their lips touch. The touch is lighter than two feathers, but Osamu's heart flutters involuntarily, even though he'd planned this exact moment all along. Damn. He's so terribly hopeless.

He sits back in his seat, acting as if nothing unusual had happened. "Mmmm~ That was delicious! Thank you for sharing, Edogawa~!" Osamu wipes away the glaze from the corner of his mouth with his thumb, brushing the finger along his lips as well. His lips feel almost like they're burning, vibrating with some sort of excitement. He wants to keep the feeling there, and somehow the obvious answer to that is put your hands over the top of it. That will definitely keep the feeling in. Childish.

He makes as subtle of eye contact possible with Ranpo, although he'd like it if he could watch him like a wolf watches it's prey without making his true motives even more obvious. Osamu sticks out his tongue, and licks the glaze off his thumb, licking from his knuckle to the tip. He sucks on the nail for just a moment, getting rid of the rest of sugar before humming in satisfaction.

Ranpo was definitely staring, but he wasn't showing any of his other feelings on the entire encounter. What a pity Osamu had found himself with a man who rivaled him in his ability to hide his feelings.

After an embarrassingly long pause, Ranpo did betray some emotion, although Osamu had to admit he had no clue what it meant. His green eyes opened to just a slit and leveled a glare at him. It was impossible to tell, but Osamu hoped that it had a bit of playfulness to it, because if Ranpo was well and truly pissed… Well, the only benefit would be that it would be interesting.

There was a moment a little like a standoff where neither moved until Ranpo closed his eyes once more and stood, taking his bag of treats with him. He had the briefest of words with the clerk (who—if the color of her ears were anything to go by—had witnessed their exchange) and got a box full of donuts. He doesn't look to Osamu again, only tilts his head in his direction for a moment and skips out the door.

The clerk panics a bit, "Wait! You have to pay for that, sir!" Osamu lets a sigh, but he's not sure if he's annoyed by Ranpo's behavior or lack of reaction.

He grabs the terrible black coffee off the table and walks to the counter. "I've got it," he told her with a smile, handing over the yen, "I apologize once again for his behavior." A wink, and he's followed Ranpo out the door. His partner is leaning against the wall just outside, enjoying a donut.

"You're going to make poor me broke, Edogawa…" he says, "I needed some of that money to buy some proper cyanide capsules…"

"Don't steal my donuts and you won't have to pay extra," Ranpo responds, pursing his lips

Immediately, Osamu grabs one from the box. Ranpo makes a noise of protest, but he—taking advantage of his slightly taller height—holds it high above his head. "Don't make me buy them and I won't steal them~" Ranpo makes a jump for his pastry, but Osamu is one step ahead as he takes a bite.

Ranpo huffs. "Mmm~ Delicious~" Osamu says, smiling.

He's unprepared for the lips that brush along his fingers as Ranpo takes the donut from his hand with his mouth. Osamu draws back in shock as his partner finishes it off. Once again, he's unable to hide the blush. His fingers feel numb where he felt Ranpo's breath on his fingertips.

Apparently, accidental flirtation on Ranpo's end was his downfall. After all that effort, he was still the only one flustered in the end.

He lets out a silent shaky breath before humming in a (hopefully) disinterested way. "Let's hope Kunikida isn't too mad at me, hmm, Edogawa?"

Ranpo: 1, Osamu: 0.

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Comments and critique are always appreciated.


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